Today my heart is slightly heavy and it's about a subject sensitive to most single ladies' hearts. Ah - you already know what I'm referring to - that relationship with the right guy that leads to marriage. Or maybe a better way to put it - our singlehood. I have no desire to dwell on this, because, as I said - sensitive, right? But, it has been coming up - ALOT - everywhere I turn. Down to my friend posting as her status on FB "I always thought I'd be married by 22...man was I wrong..."
So I ask - ok, Lord. What's up? Why do you keep putting this in front of me? This is not something I want to think about. I already feel like I'm the only single girl left - why on earth would I want to continue to think on it?
When I read my friend's status - subconsciously, I thought "broken promises." Wow - is that what I really think? The Lord has failed to fulfill His promises? I don't know what the Lord has promised my friend and can't make a judgement call about it. But, that's my instinctive response - the Lord has broken His promise about providing a spouse. Deep down I feel this has been the same in my life - He has failed me in this area. I know, I know - I'm young. Yet, this same issue had weighed terribly heavy on my heart as of late.
My time will come, but what if it's not until I'm well until [or heaven forbid past] my 30s? I will admit - I do not want to wait until that time, but am I willing to wait or will I settle? I've seen many settle - some I know and some I don't know very well. So is my will to wait for someone the Lord has meant for me stronger than my desire to find someone? I'm not sure the answer to that question is the answer I want.
I know how you feel, as hard as that might seem because I am now on the other side of the fence. I also know that at the point I met Richard, I had moved past wanting to be married. At the point, I didn't care anymore is when i met the love of my life.
ReplyDeleteEverything is a journey. I look back and realize every piece fell into place. Everything that happened prepared me for the now. Marriage is the single greatest/hardest thing I have ever experienced. I honestly never thought it would be that way.
Right now you are in preparation. You are preparing to be in the right mindset to spend the rest of your life with someone no matter what. Don't look around - everyone isn't you - and there are still MANY single guys out there as well as single girls (In a friends sense lol). Hold out for the right one. Be skeptical. You will find him.
Use this time to find out what's on His heart, believe me after your married your relationship changes with God. While special, I encourage you to get close on this side of marriage.
I love you. I know there is someone who will love you more out there; )